He's Thinking Arby's
by LittleDragonNeko
Summary: First Halo fic! Master Chief thinks Arbiter's name is too long so he decides to shorten it for him. Chapter 4 coming soon!
1. The Name

Ice: First Halo fic I've attempted so let's see how it works out. I don't own anything sadly.

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After an entire afternoon of "Hey, Arbiter! Over here!" and "Hey, Arbiter, look over there!" Master Chief was quickly becoming exhausted with his name. It wasn't a bad one, but it couldn't hurt to have a shorter name. The Chief decided to bring it up to him.

"I was doing some thinking…" he started.

"Really? I thought all you did was shoot everything in sight," Arbiter cut him off.

"Shoot you…"

"What was that?"

"Oh! Umm… Nothing!"

"Mhmm… Do go on with your thinking."

"…Fine. Your name is too long."

"My name? What about Master Chief? That's pretty long on its own."

"Yeah, but everyone calls me Chief, but my name isn't the point."

"My name is short enough and that's that. Now let's finish this up and leave."

Arbiter walked off and Master Chief followed behind him still thinking about his name.

_It just doesn't work to try to yell out Arbiter if you're getting shot… Hey! Arb-blargh! Yeah, not gonna work for me…_

They continued on for a bit through the dense forest. There really was nothing going on for them and they soon stopped for a break again.

"The flood was supposed to be all over this place. I know they can't have stopped for a cup of tea along the way," groaned Master Chief.

"Maybe they were already wiped out."

"By who? We're pretty much all that's out here going after them. Ever. Ever ever. Don't tell me something else is hunting them too."

"It was just a theory, no need to get upset."

"So again, your name…"

"Is fine and that's all there is to it."

"Oh! I know! How about Arb?"

"No."

"Arrrrr… Be a pirate?"

"No."

"I know… Arby!"

"No."

"Yes! Arby is great! Just like that food place Arby's!"

"What?"

"Cortana, can you show him an Arby's?" the Chief asked his A.I. partner.

"Sure, give me one second," she replied and then a holographic image of a building called Arby's appeared.

"That's it! So what do you think, Arby?"

"…I think you're crazy… You've spent too long in that armor. God knows what you've been up to with that holo girl…" Arbiter argued.

"Hey! Leave Cortana alone. I've done nothing!"

"Oh? What about that time in-" Cortana started.

"That was one time!"

"One time?" Arbiter was surprised since that was coming from a man who's facial expressions were never known through the helmet. Behind that dark visor, there's no telling what he had been up to.

"You lay off. You shut up," commanded Master Chief to Arbiter and Cortana, "Besides, it's decided. You're Arby from now on."

"It's Arbiter. Not Arby…" He knew he was losing this battle, but he was still going to argue it.

"Arby… I like it. Makes you seem…more friendly. Arby. Hehe," the Chief actually chuckled at using the name.

It was certainly going to make for an interesting day, but what else was new in their world? They continued on their search for the flood all while Master Chief appeared to be skipping along chanting Arby the whole way.

"I will kill you…"

"No, you won't. You like me too much. Don'tcha, Arby?"

"You're trying my patience…"

"Yep, and quite often."

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Ice: So what did you think? I already have it mapped out for a direction, just really slow to get to it. It's not a slash fic, just good friends tormenting each other like every good friend should. ^_^ Please review!


	2. The Hat

Ice: Here we are with chapter 2! I'm hoping this turns out as good as it did in my head when I thought of this. Sorry for the fairly short chapter. *Fixed some minor errors.

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After some more trekking through the dense forest, Master Chief and Arbiter stopped for a break. They were supposed to be tracking and eliminating the flood presence which didn't seem to exist.

"Please tell me this isn't a waste of our time…" complained Master Chief.

"Be happy we're not running for our lives," Arbiter retorted.

"What are you talking about? I never run!" Master Chief struck a heroic pose.

"Oh, you mean like that time-"

"Hey! That doesn't count! …And that was one time…"

"Some elite spartan you are…"

"What about that time you were running and screaming about being out of ammo and wanting me to save your life?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. That's never happened."

"Oh…right…"

Master Chief sat and pondered some more trying to find a flaw in Arbiter's perfectness.

_Smug jerk… He needs a little something to lighten him up…_

He sat down and immediately dug through the various things he was carrying. Arbiter couldn't help, but notice this. His head started tilting in curiosity as the Chief pulled out various stocks of ammo and grenades. Then he started to pull out a random assortment of items such as magazines which Arby really didn't want to know what they were about.

Master Chief noticed him staring and grinned.

_Wow… I'm an idiot… I keep forgetting he can't see me grin and stuff… Oh well… We'll deal with that later…_

"Ah ha!" said the Chief as he pulled out a dusty cowboy hat.

Arbiter's eye grew huge as he watched him dust the hat off. He wasn't sure how or even why the Chief was carrying it, but he knew it was going to be bad.

"Come here you. Got something for ya."

"I'm quite fine right here," Arbiter knew what was coming, but he probably shouldn't have taken his eyes off the spartan.

Master Chief crept behind Arbiter while he had his nose in the air and planted the hat on top of his head.

"There! That looks great on you, Arby!"

Arbiter spun around and had he been a dragon, he would have been breathing flames.

"MY NAME IS ARBITER! NOT ARBY! AND TAKE YOUR STUPID HAT BACK!" he screeched.

"…My hat is not stupid… It's cool…" Master Chief sniffled as he took the hat back.

Arbiter gathered his things and started to walk through the forest once again. Master Chief quickly stuffed his things back in his bag and ran to catch up to him.

"Why do you hate me so much, Arby?"

"It's not Arby. It's Arbiter and quite frankly you're annoying."

"Ouch. But… You're my buddy, Arby…"

"Whatever…"

And so they continued on. Arbiter couldn't help, but wonder just what the Chief was going to pull on him next.

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Ice: Woo! We have an update ladies and gentlemen. Now just how long will it take me to update again… Hmm…


	3. Forks and Knives

Ice: Chapter 3! Halfway there.

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After some odd hours of roaming through the forest, Arbiter was becoming even more annoyed with Master Chief.

"You're sure that this is the planet that the flood were on? I'm beginning to think your intelligence is off," Arbiter began to complain.

"My intelligence is just fine! They're here! Just…hiding…or something…" Chief mumbled.

He was growing impatient and worrying that his intelligence just might be off, but he could never allow Arbiter to be right. He would never hear the end of it and that just wasn't right. Suddenly something growled.

"Did you hear that? Maybe you were right after all, but I'm not holding my breath," said Arbiter as he charged his plasma pistol.

"Oh…yeah…right…," Chief started.

"…You're going to tell me that wasn't the flood and that you're hungry, aren't you?"

"No."

"Aren't you?"

"Yes."

"THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU! YOU DRAG ME OUT HERE AND THEN LIE TO ME! NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? THERE'S NO FLOOD, NO NOTHING OUT HERE!"

"Well… There is just us…"

"NO!"

"I wasn't going there with that, I swear."

"I don't care where you're going with your statements! This is ridiculous! We're out in the middle of nowhere and there's nothing here!"

"Now that I think about it… I really am hungry… Arby… Arby's…," Master Chief began to drift off in thought as Arbiter continued to yell and lose what was left of his mind.

_I'm so hungry… Arby's sounds so excellent right now… Man… Just what was Arby going on about anyway? Oh right, we're out in the middle of nowhere. Right. Man, if I just had some Arby's…_

"Are you even listening to me in there? We need to continue on and get off this boring rock!"

"Huh? What? Oh, right, yeah."

"Never in my life have I known someone like you…," Arbiter trailed off as he continued the walk through the uneventful forest.

_Eh, he loves me. You just can't hate me. I'm too awesome for that. Seriously, it's in the rule book. Man, I'm so hungry… I'm just starving now… Arby's… Arby? Wait, no, he's not a delicious sandwich…yet…_

Once again, Master Chief went through his backpack searching for a couple items. Having gone through the same stash as before of magazines and such, he finally came across his trusty knife and fork. He looked around and saw that Arbiter wasn't paying any attention to him lagging behind. He began to crouch and slowly sneak up on the unsuspecting Arby.

Arby was still grumbling to himself about his predicament and had no idea just what the Spartan had in mind for him. He continued his pace for awhile until he thought he heard something snap behind him. He paused for a moment, figured it was just his crazy companion, but for some reason, couldn't move. He knew he would regret turning around, but had to anyway.

Just as Arbiter turned around, Master Chief was poking a fork at him which happened to lightly hit Arby in the stomach. Both stood there staring at the other for awhile. Neither knew just what to say, but someone had to break the silence.

"I thought we told them to take that damn fork and knife from you the last time you did this and thought it was a good idea to eat a grunt," Cortana chimed in.

They continued to stare each other down.

"Umm… Hi?" Chief squeaked.

"This…is just about the last time…I ever deal with you…you psychotic, overgrown, mutant…," Arby was doing his best not to completely lose it.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M JUST HUNGRY AND YOU LOOKED TASTY! I'M SORRY!" Master Chief yelled as he ran for his life thinking it would be in danger if he stayed still.

He continued running far ahead into the forest. Arbiter sighed and shook his head. He was going to regret this trip. He just prayed he wouldn't be on the menu for the Spartan later.

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Ice: Not the greatest update, but it sounded funny in my head… Please review!


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